Issue #7: The Power of Uncomfortable Conversations, Learning from McConaughey, and Chef

Uncomfortable Conversations, Greenlights, Productivity Tips from Ryan Holiday, Chef & The Chef Show on Netflix, and Pablo Piccaso

Hey, I'm Rohan! Thanks for reading. Thursday Thoughts is a weekly newsletter where I share a thought I’ve been pondering along with 4 other random finds from across media. Not yet subscribed? Do so here:

In this week’s issue we will cover:

• The Power of Uncomfortable Conversations

• What You Can Learn From Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights

• 33 Ways to Be An Insanely Productive, Happy, Balanced Person by Ryan Holiday

• Chef & The Chef Show on Netflix

• A Quote From Pablo Picasso

Let’s get into it!

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The Power of Uncomfortable Conversations

"A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have."

- Timothy Ferriss

Something that I am taking the time to appreciate recently is the amazing power that an uncomfortable conversation can have.

In a current generation where ghosting is the norm, we are sorely in need of more courage to engage in these uncomfortable conversations. Young people today would rather block people than actually tell them how they feel, thinking that they save a bunch of emotional distress for both parties as a result.

However, people don't even limit this cowardice to relationships. This avoidance is a larger trend and is making its way into other aspects of our personal and professional development.

According to a study done by PayScale Inc., only 37 percent of people ask for raises at their jobs. However, 70% of those who ask for raises end up actually securing a wage increase. Of those who do ask for a raise, 39% of employees get the wage increase they requested and 31% go home with a smaller raise than requested.

So then why don’t more people have that uncomfortable conversation to ask for a raise? More generally, why don’t people ask for what they want? They:

• are scared of failure or not getting what they want or

• are worried about coming off as passive-aggressive

• seek to avoid unnecessary pain or suffering

In today's 3-2-1 Thursday newsletter James Clear says:

Many people delay taking action because they hope to avoid suffering. They keep searching for a path that won't involve tradeoffs. But some form of suffering is always inevitable. The process of taking action is the process of choosing pain.

Most of what we want is just on the other side of an uncomfortable conversation. The fear of this conversation, however, usually makes a lot of us refrain from getting what we want. But that pain is going to be felt somewhere regardless: either in rejection or in inaction.

For me, I have learned this lesson quite recently. I've prolonged conversations that needed to be had just because I felt that it was the wrong time or because I didn't want to come off as passive-aggressive. However, that just meant that the things that I wanted to change remained the same.

Having the courage to do something is what it's all about. At some point, you need to act towards what you want and have that uncomfortable conversation with people in your life.

And a beautiful thing happens when you cut the bullshit and actually stand up for what you want. Not only do you get what you want most of the time, but when you're honest with people, they actually respect you more.

And like anything, the more uncomfortable conversations that you have, the more compound interest works its magic. Then, as Tim Ferriss would say, you will see how all those conversations led the way to your success.

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What You Can Learn from Mathew McConaughey

I talked about loving Mathew McConaughey's interview with Tim Ferris a couple of weeks ago on the newsletter. I left that conversation so impressed and inspired that I decided to order his book Greenlights on Amazon.

The book surpassed all expectations that I had, with a great narrative crafting together moments from his life to actionable lessons. It was hilarious as well and I ended up tearing through it in a couple of days.

Here are my takeaways from this book and McConaughey's Life so far:

• While every life has it's Yellow and Red Lights, these can be turned into Greenlights if you look at them the right way and learn from these situations.

• It's important to define the values you want to live by as early as possible, whether that comes from the way you were raised or new words that you want to live by

• Once you have those values defined, stand by them no matter what and never compromise on your work or values. (Don't Half-Ass Anything)

• Know Thyself, Introspection is vital for succeeding in anything. The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself

• And of course, the whole experience reading the book was a reaffirming of the old adage to not judge a book by its cover: I did that with Matthew and was pleasantly surprised with the value that I got out of this book, I won't make the same mistake again

I'd recommend this book to anyone interested in life lessons as well as entertaining storytelling because this book has both in abundance.

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33 Ways to Be An Insanely Productive, Happy, Balanced Person by Ryan Holiday

I'm a huge Ryan Holiday fan and he was one of the reasons that I actually got into writing and reading more regularly. I was lurking on his website, reading some of his old articles when I stumbled upon this gem of an article he wrote back in 2015. Ryan gives a bunch of suggestions of ways to live a better, more productive life that anybody can follow. Some personal favorites of mine:

• Walk during all your phone calls

• Reading is work, important work actually

• The computer is a medium and not always the best one

• Don't play cell phone games…you're an adult

• Divide how much you make in a year by the hours you work to get a true hourly rate

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Chef & The Chef Show on Netflix

So a couple of days ago I opened Netflix on my TV and the first recommendation that popped up was Chef, a 2014 cooking movie. Normally extremely picky when choosing what to watch, this time I immediately clicked on the movie and started playing it - being a huge fan of Jon Favreau and Roy Choi's The Chef Show.

Chef is about a famous chef who quits his high-profile job in a Los Angeles restaurant to travel the country in his own food truck to reignite his passion for cooking. This film from 2014 has had an amazing impact on a lot of people, nonetheless Binging with Babish - who credits it as one of his favorite movies of all time.

This show along with The Chef Show, which also recently released a new volume of a season has the special ability to make you excited about food and cooking again. After watching this series, it's got me excited to be in the kitchen - making cooking not just an avenue for sustenance but also an art itself.

It's got me taking pride in the kitchen and enjoying all the time that I get to spend there while creating something out of scratch. You just don't get the same joy when you pull together a ready-made Kraft Mac and Cheese as when you assemble the infamous Scarlett's Pasta (although I won't knock a good neon orangey Kraft Mac and Cheese).

Consider giving Chef a watch this weekend and appreciate the time, care, and attention to detail that Carl Kasper puts towards his food. Then binge-watch The Chef Show on Netflix to really appreciate the art of cooking.

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Quote of the Week

"Learn the rules as an amateur so you can break the rules as a professional."

- Pablo Picasso

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That’s all for this week. As always let me know any feedback you might have - always happy to talk if I could do better! If you enjoyed this edition, consider sharing it with a friend and if it’s your first time reading I hope you’ll consider subscribing. Until next week - stay safe!